We are horribly to blame for telling you that you were each so extraordinarily special that life would bow to your wants and desires and specialness, and hand you each your own personal bliss. I would like to offer my sincerest apologies, on behalf of my peers of Boomers and Xers, who told the children of your generation that this would be the case.

It is a fairytale we told you to get you through childhood and adolescence, with its bullying and awkwardness, because we love you. We didn’t want you to feel embarrassed about not making the team, so we set up artificial play dates. We saw your frustration at lacking a talent for math or literature comprehension, so we made excuses for your Cs and Ds. We didn’t want you to have body image issues or an eating disorder, so we loved you with fast food and sugary snacks. We remember how cruel other kids can be, and we didn’t want you to feel teased or harassed.

But the world is so much more heartless, unkind, and complicated a place than we led you to believe. We should have told you that you’re NOT going to be good at everything you do. You didn’t make the team because you didn’t practice, and because chubby kids don’t move very fast. You didn’t ace that test because you didn’t study.

The tragic reality is that sometimes being a bit of a bully makes people more successful. The brutal truth is, if you exude social awkwardness, people will avoid you and say mean things about you behind your back.

We did and said all of these things because you are so very special to US, because WE love you, and because it kills us when we see you hurting or disappointed. We said and did these things because we want you to believe in yourself. We want you to have the confidence to face the world with your head held high.

But by blaming “the system” for your shortcomings, we didn’t require enough effort from you, and you didn’t learn to require more effort from yourself. You didn’t learn mastery and accomplishment, and the confidence that accompanies those. Confidence doesn’t lead to accomplishment. Accomplishment leads to confidence.

True success comes from a combination of desire and hard work. We told you that your bliss would just come to you, if only you wanted it hard enough, because you are extraordinary. But bliss is something that is earned. It is achieved – over time – because you WORK for it, not because you – and we – think you deserve it.

I’m really sorry we didn’t prepare you for how unfair and unforgiving the world can be.

Because, in all truth, the rest of humanity gives exactly zero fucks how extra special you are to Mommy and Grandma.