Pressing Engagement

Rob and I had been dating for over a year, and had been living together for just a few months, when I woke him up in the middle of the night, climbed on top of him, and pinned him down. (This is not a sex story. Those who have arrived at the wrong classroom are free to leave now.)

I said, “Look, (all of my good pissed off moments start with a “look”) we’ve been talking about marriage for MONTHS, and for like 6 weeks, you haven’t said a THING about it. I thought that’s the direction we were headed. I’m looking for a partner in my life, not a boyfriend. I’d really like that person to be you, but you’re suddenly not talking about it at all. I won’t just let it drop. I need to know if you’re serious about this.” Nothing.

“Look, (there it is again) I come with a kid. I’m a package deal. You’re the only man I’ve introduced to her and, if you’re not serious, then I don’t want you in her life. If fatherhood isn’t you’re thing, that’s cool. But motherhood is MY thing. It’s my only thing.” Nothing.

“And I’m quite happy living alone. I don’t NEED you in my life – I WANT you in my life. If you don’t feel the same way, you need to let me know now so that we can just part ways as friends.”

He got up, walked out the door, and came back with something in his hand. He said, “I stopped talking about it because I already bought the ring, goddammit! I wanted to SURPRISE you! It’s being made for you. Here’s the receipt if you don’t believe me!”

And that’s the story of how Rob and I became engaged.